quasi diarist

Happy to make YOU happy*

2008-02-05T16:18:00.000+08:00

Why did I choose to stay in the Philippines?

February 03, 2008
Updated 19:08:39 (Mla time)
Howard Belton
Philippine Daily Inquirer

MANILA, Philippines--BECAUSE of Filipinos, that’s the answer.

Filipinos who made us so welcome from day one and have enriched our lives ever since.

It has been almost 10 years since Cristina and I arrived in Manila. In Unilever, I found a spirit of family way above that in other places, and this wonderful family took us to their hearts and made my business career a joy.

What made it a joy was not just the hard work and spirit of our employees, but their willingness to embrace change and come up with innovations.

The Rexona ministick, invented here, is now exported to 20 countries.

Close-up “Lovapalooza” not only got into the Guinness book of records but was featured on CNN, BBC and many other news channels -- I never thought I would be famous in Unilever for kissing!

I could give many other examples of the creativity of our Filipino employees. These innovations have made Unilever Philippines famous and admired in the Unilever world.

Outside Unilever, so many other people welcomed us as friends. They took the trouble to take us to meet their friends. So within months we were busy almost every evening.

These friends took us beyond business into many different social circles, into the arts, government, NGOs and many others—we are blessed by this variety of experience. And our circle of friends has grown and grown so that even now I am retired our life is full.

It isn’t only the well-off who have welcomed us.

Unilever is based in Paco, on the edge of the Pasig and in the middle of a poorer community. It had a long tradition of community involvement, which Cristina and I were proud to support. As a result of our work on the environment and poverty alleviation, we have met many wonderful people who give their lives to helping the community.

We have also met thousands of Filipinos in poor communities, in Baseco, Smokey Mountain, Parola, Pandacan and elsewhere. Despite their struggle for a decent living, they have always made two foreigners feel welcome.

We will never forget our first visit to Baseco, shortly after the terrible fire there, taking Unilever’s relief goods for 3,000 people. How calmly and cheerfully people waited for the distribution, and when the goods ran out how peacefully they accepted our promise to return with more. It would not happen like that in many so called “advanced” countries.

It was a great honor to go to Malacañang recently and receive the Order of the Golden Heart from the President, in recognition of my community work. Of course I felt very proud, but also a little guilty as there are so many people who have worked longer and harder for the community than I have. I dedicate the award to them.

Certainly, the award does add to my motivation to continue.

I was also honored to become President of Philippine Business for the Environment, and Cristina and I are involved in many other fulfilling activities.

We are lucky enough to have explored the Philippines, from Pagudpud in the north to Davao in the south, and enjoyed many beautiful places. I am a history major and have loved to visit so many old churches, though some are in sad disrepair.

Of course in lively but messy Manila we have to dream of this beauty—or ride out to Lake Taal which we have come to love.

But we do enjoy the life of a busy city. We divide our time between noisy Manila and our beautiful farm in the heart of the English countryside, where the only sound is of the birds and a trickling stream.

What a contrast—but, you know, it makes a wonderful balance.

Of course, it is sad to see corrupt Filipinos abusing their fellow-citizens, and the level of poverty is a constant reproach. I have heard friends say that the Filipino tolerance and sense of humor in adversity may be partly a negative, as they weaken the drive for improvement. There may be some truth in that.

I remember sitting in the Rotary Club of Manila meeting being addressed by the Japanese ambassador. The old member next to me whispered “It’s ironic that today is the anniversary of the day that the Japanese admiral who butchered so many people here in Manila killed himself.”

I asked, “Why don’t you mention it?” He replied, “No it’s a long time ago, and it’s best to move on.” Was he right? I’m not sure.

George, my father in law, spent eight years here, and saw Filipinos at their best. Our two housekeepers, Jesryl and Dory, loved him like a grandfather. And when he came to need nursing he received a level of tender care which just could not be achieved in England. So his last years were happy ones.

We are full of gratitude for the way our Filipino friends rallied round on his recent death. We decided to give him a Filipino wake -- very different from the custom in England -- and it was comforting to have the support of so many people.

During the wake, one of my friends said, “Now, with this experience, you are truly Filipino.” Well, I do start to feel that way.

So, for Cristina and I, it has become natural to stay here. We stay to enjoy the Philippines in all its variety, to share our lives with our Filipino friends, and, we hope, to give something back to the country which has adopted us.

Talagang Happy to make YOU happy, di ba?

*Happy to make YOU happy is the tagline of UP Diliman's entry to the 2006 PANA Competition which the team also won.

.:. Are you happy?

2007-04-30T20:03:00.000+08:00

We make a lot of decisions every single moment of every single day.

It can be as simple as choosing color of sun dress to buy at your favorite
shop or as life-changing as deciding to fight for your life after a tragedy.

Decisions are usually easy. But there are those decisions which we stall forever to make. They usually take time, a certain amount of stress and, if you're a little neurotic like I am, a couple of nights of tossing and turning til you see the sun shine through the blinds. Today, I made one of the latter. I chose to follow what made me feel good and what I believed will make me happy.

At the end of the day, that's the most important question we should all be answering anyway, right?

:: Visual DNA

2007-03-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Found it while browsing through people's blogs. I really like it and it's really interesting. Although I don't really agree in everything it said, this is one of the "sensible" online tests I have taken. Go get yours too!=)

UPDATE:

The First Business Administration Council - Asian Eye Institute Marketing Competition Grand Finals happened yesterday. It was fun really, to see the sophies team present: You could see the excitement, perkiness, and utter joy on their faces. Congratulations to Tim, James, and Mr Ebarle for winning the competition!=)

To my teammates, Katty and Jackie, congratulations to us!!! It's over, finally! And bias aside, winning 2nd for an overnight strategy is so great!!! Yay!

To the Seniors, we may be losers but we're very cute losers [see Seniors' Loser Pic in Abby Wu's Multipy]!

--END--

.:. Hitting a nerve

2007-03-13T00:56:00.001+08:00

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.
You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.
People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.

Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.
So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.
However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Dumm dee, dumm dee, dumm dumm.

:: Life Plan

2007-03-09T03:27:00.000+08:00

It's simple, actually. It's just whether you know what to do or you don't know what to do. For me, it has usually been the former but just recently, I had an episode of the later. I was panicking and endlessly searching for meaning in every single thing that came my way; however pathetic you think that sounds. I was searching for purpose, searching for direction. I am so unbelievably uncomfortable with the unknown, with the unchartered road, with the future unless I had a plan, however flimsy it may be. I JUST HAD TO HAVE A PLAN.

And so a month ago, if by chance you saw me looking like a wretched piece of crap who seemed to carry the world and all its crappiness on her shoulders, you now know why.

I don't know how it happened or when it started but I am so glad to be back. I'm soo friggin' happy I could throw a party!

I finally saw "the purpose" I was so desperate to find. I now know where I want to be and pretty much how to get there.

It's true what they say, really, that everything will alright.

Everything will be okay.

.:. To laugh or Not to laugh?

2007-03-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: November 10

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.
You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!
You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

:: It feels so good to know..

2007-02-12T01:24:00.001+08:00

.. how much you've changed
.. how lucky you are
.. why you did this and not that
.. why it's so good to be alive

I am definitely at a better place right now.

Largely thanks to you.:)

.:. Current state

2007-02-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

I am being tested. It is not the first time that I've had a lot of things to do and deadlines to meet but it IS the first time that I cannot figure out where I'm gonna be, what I'm gonna do,or who I'm going to be with, first. It sucks having a planner and religiously filling it out only to discover that you CAN'T accomplish everything that you said (and thought) you would. Unless of course you were blessed with super powers.

My schedule is as busy as.. hell. I seriously have no idea what adjective could be more appropriate (I seriously think there is none).

However, thanks to friends who keep me sane both via personal touch and past-midnight PMs, I am still alive (and as everyone would like to believe, still sane).

Ooh, and I have a lot of thoughts to divulge here. Just not enough time on my hands right now.

Good Lord, love me.. more. Please?=)

P.S.

What happened recently?

CE Week!!! Congratulations to the whole team! Will be makulit enough to get pictures from them to upload for everyone's viewing pleazhuh.:)

What will happen?

FP!!! Valentine's Night of the UP Fair at the UP Sunken Garden. Will post a copy of the pubmat for further info asap.:)

Contact me @ 0915.785.2768 for tickets (or a Valentine's date invite, wahaha!=))

:: Of Riddles

2007-01-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been trying to keep things as simple as possible. I've tried to look at things the way I child supposedly sees them. All with the belief that once I succeed in what I'm trying to do, I will, for once, stop thinking about the reason behind the reason behind the reason behind THIS and THAT.

But what if there really are no reasons? What if everything's just in my head?

.:. The Flower

2007-01-09T00:20:00.001+08:00

Instead of the usual resolution list I post at the start of the year, I came across an old file I had way, way back. In one way or another I found it to perfectly embody where I want 2007 to take me. Maybe you will understand, maybe you won't. So just read the story and find out for yourself.:)

+++

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"

He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on
the dining table near the front door that goes....

My dear,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.."

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk..."

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...

Anonymous

:: When the red light says stop

2006-12-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

Some people say that it is usually man's greatest strength that becomes his weakness. That victory is not awarded based on the end result, rather on how well a man was able to balance that one thing that can either cause his greatness or downfall.

While in retrospect, I have come to realize what my one thing was, and after bouts of defensiveness and denial it has proven that irregardless of the past and the present, the future would only be determined by how well I could balance or I dare say, control "it". The million-dollar question, "Have I got what it takes?" has ~~endlessly~~ plagued my mind for some time now.

P.S.

To seek for more than what is given can be argued as a typical trait of humans, thereby being part of human nature.

At some point I thought that I might be asking for more and that I should stop. It turns out that I've long-been settling for what's less, what's comfortable, and what's familiar. And that I should stop. Now.

.:. Try this!

2006-12-11T01:05:00.001+08:00

Wow.

:: Let the good vibes roll

2006-12-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.
...

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now.

The holiday season is making its way into our lives again, and you'll realize it from the Christmas lights and decorations from the Christmas Tree in the CE Tambayan to the lobby of our condo, carols playing in almost every establishment, and the famous malamig na simoy ng hangin immortalized through song by the APO Hiking Society. Honestly, I am at the moment, semi-looking forward to the Christmas season. Semi 'cos I'm still with mixed emotions right now. I recall a time when Christmas meant being happy on the outside and everything but, deep inside. Sad, noh? But it was true, for some time waaay, waaay back. Anyway, ever since a few years ago, after one holiday season that I'm sure I'd never forget my entire life, Christmas has always stood for family, kept promises, and brand new starts for me. It has been a good er, good years for me and I hope it continues to be still this year.:)


P.S.'s
The JFA-CE-S.E. Men tri-tandem won the Cheerdance Competition in this year's BACBACAN 2! This is the 4th consecutive win of CE in the most coveted competition in the annual day of sports and camaraderie (aherm, aherm..) of the BA organizations. As the self-confessed P.A. of the BACBACAN dancers, I'm supah-dupah proud of you, guys!!! *M-M-D-A! M-M-D-A! Basura! Ah, Ah! Basura! Ah, Ah!*
This week (read: the last week before Christmas vacation) is a very busy week for me and my almost-all-classes-classmates (Glecy, Kat, Paul). So, in case we show bag with eyebag maletas, puh-lease.. give us some allowance.
I didn't like my grad pic, huhu. I'm still thinking of getting a re-shot or haaay....
I need to lose weight now. Feasib is over already and Christmas is fast approaching, this is the time to lose weight instead of the usual weight gain during vacation.
CE and ABAM's Christmas Party-Acquaintance Party-TransOrn-BACBACAN Thanksgiving's are scheduled on Tuesday. Let's parteh, people!

.:. To let it out

2006-11-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

For the last couple of weeks or so, I've been wanting to update this blog. Seriously, I was close to dragging my butt to the computer but then the most I was able to do was update my now-you-know-where-to-take-me movie list. It's FRUSTRATING as hell to feel that you have a lot to say yet do not know precisely where or how to start. To my luck, you can say the same thing goes for my life lately.

I am one who needs direction, planning, and all those sortssa stuff that spell security and the comfort that goes along with it. Back in the day when I was still wearing skirts and braids, I took comfort in the idea of ~~many~~ years between that day and adulthood. But right now, the forethought of life after school is scaring me like hell. I fear a lot of things, but this feeling of having NO idea whatsoever of what I'm gonna be/do and the possibility of failure is way beyond my tolerance levels.

Around lunch last Friday was one particular instance wherein fear made me do things that I normally wouldn't do. Several minutes past lunch break, I dragged my feet down to Rm105 to ask Ate Tess to rush a copy a copy of my TCG and a certification that I'm graduating. I went off to the College of Law and whaddyaknow, the woman behind the counter had "shocked" spelled on her face when I told her that I was to get a copy of the LAE application form. Honestly, I would've comforted her by saying that I shared the sentiment but chose not to since the clock was ticking and I had to get my application rolling. Luckily, in the nick of time, I made it:

Testing Time: 1pm
Testing Center: Room 125, School of Economics, UP Diliman

And in case you didn't notice, the UP LAE was due on Sunday, two days after I applied.

Now, maybe you don't quite get it, but then I have to explain that it's not me to do these things: last-minute application, taking a big-deal test without any review whatsoever, paying almost two thousand for something that wasn't almost certain. But then again, the question is WHY I chose to go with it, the last-minute gut feel that told me to take that friggin' exam?

It was a ~~big-ass~~ dream. I wanted to become a lawyer ever since I could remember. I wanted to help people who were oppressed, defend someone who was wrongly accused, fight for someone's rights; and all that for a simple thank you. Yes, I am quite a sucker for charity work and I love myself that way. I wanted to practice law for the love and passion for it. Though I do not abhor lawyers who charge for their services (because technically, that's what professionals are supposed to do), I believed that one cannot fully say that he/she defended or upheld someone's rights if it was compensated by some price. The logic of it just doesn't sit well with me however way I looked at it.

So, in an effort (however, sly) to fit everything together, I considered the possibility of taking night classes and working in the days. But of course, everything depends on the results come February. Now that I'm done with the exam, I can only say that the outcome depends on how well all the other 5thou-ish applicants did. I came in the examination room with nothing new in my head, just a healthy pack of 15 years-worth of schooling. The end is by no chance on my hands. But I'm happy I had the courage to take the first step.

And then again, the answer will come in time.

:: I'm back!

2006-10-26T16:08:00.000+08:00

In true fashion of my occassional boredom and the urgency of updating everything -- from ze blog, to friendster, to multiply, and all that friggin' jazz -- I am at a loss of order. Meaning, I don't know where to start and so in the mean time, I give you something that caught my attention in Cams' LJ. The seven deadly sins' test. Let's see how I do, shall we?

Your Gluttony Quotient: 35%

You have a pretty good relationship with food - you enjoy it, but you don't go overboard.
You've struck the perfect balance between gluttony and self control.

How Much Gluttony Do You Have?

Your Greed Quotient: 35%

You're a little greedy, but generally you don't let your desire get the better of you.
You know that good things will come to you - as long as you wait your turn!

How Much Greed Do You Have?

Your Sloth Quotient: 24%

You're a little lazy, but normally you're a very energetic and motivated person.
Don't beat yourself up over a little laziness every now and then. You do need your downtime!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

Your Wrath Quotient: 53%

Ouch! You've got a bit of a temper going on there, don't you?
Just make sure to keep your revenge fantasies just that... fantasies only!

How Much Wrath Do You Have?

Your Lust Quotient: 22%

You are a fairly lustful person, but nothing out of the norm.
You usually keep your lust under control, but sometimes it gets the better of you.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Your Envy Quotient: 37%

You are an occasionally envious person, but jealousy doesn't usually get the better of you.
You're wise enough to know that envy feels horrible - and does nothing to improve your life.
A little jealousy is normal: so go ahead and let yourself feel it. But don't let it bum you out!

How Much Envy Do You Have?

Your Pride Quotient: 38%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm.
Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

Haha, I have to admit that the results made me feel a little funny. Anyway, the real updates are going to be up soon!

.:. Isolation

2006-10-11T01:57:00.000+08:00

I used to imagine what would happen if I was to get stranded in an island, away from traces of civilization or anything equally affective as the relatively fast-paced life I've been used to for the past years, and find myself out of words or even ideas for that matter. The only things I'm certain of being the following: (1) that it would be weird; and, (2) that I wouldn't like it. Actually, it being weird was a giveaway, I think; it's the second one that was a little more trivial. I mean, I didn't actually know what exactly was it that I wouldn't like.

And then, the you-see-it-happen-before-you-but-then-not-to-you scenario happened. Yes, once again, I was given the privilege (I hope so) to learn something without experiencing. Yes, I now understand why Peter Pan didn't want the Lost Boys to go back to the real world with Wendy and her brothers. It would just be.. beyond words.

Finally, I admit the fact that I have changed.

And I accept it with bright eyes, my whole heart and a grin to boot.=p

:: I miss..

2006-10-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

..talking just about anything 'til the wee hours of the morning; stories that span incoherence from the moon to Mars and back; raiding the fridge by midnight; settling for anything in it that's sweet or junk; countless daydreamings about life, love, and anything in between; opening and closing our favorite coffeeshop; playing shadowplay in the streets; intentionally forgetting umbrellas and having fun in the rain; endlessly debating on what if's, what could have's; recalling the day when we first met, said our first hello's, became friends; laughing at each others childhood crushes, boytoys, loves?; setting people up (tee hee.=p); passing by a whole avenue still without a final decision on where to eat; getting there and ordering the same thing we've ordered ever since the first time; complaining about not-so-much wanted gifts; endlessly laboring over schoolwork yet finding a reason to smile; passing a course together; shedding tears over movies, then wiping them before anyone could find out; worrying about the future yet still having fun; smiling in the inside.

To my beautiful friends who have been with me in one, two (or maybe more!=p) of the abovementioned, you are my life's joy!

Hah! And I said I'd stop being emotional.

.:. Task-happy

2006-09-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

Before:

(1) feasib (Sept 19-paper; Oct 7-presentation&defense)
(2) feasib (Sept 19-paper; Oct 7-presentation&defense)
(3) feasib (Sept 19-paper; Oct 7-presentation&defense)

After:
(1) feasib (Sept 19-paper; Oct 7-presentation&defense)
(2) project mgmt (Sept 26-paper&presentation)
(3) DMCI (Sept 27-presentation)


Explanation:
Kung dati feasib lang, ngayon a-advertising pa kami. Dahil sa one-page coupon bond kanina, madadagdagan na parang mababawasan ang workload namin. Madadagdagan dahil pasok kami sa DMCI Homes IMC Challenge Finals. Mababawasan kasi yun na ung finals namin and therefore we won't have to make a new IMC for another company.

So parang, neutral lang yun, right? One positive, one negative. Ang determinant: assured na kami ng atleast P10K sa group as consolation prize.:p

Yay to us!:)

:: Feasib

2006-08-31T03:51:00.000+08:00

Gender: Female

Occupation: Student torturer; Jeff's proclaimed "girlfriend"

Former Schedule: TF 2:30pm-4:00pm

Current Schedule: MTThF -- in between classes; MTWThFS -- over(week)night

Deadline for draft: September 5, 2006

Super final deadline: September 19, 2006

Status: In Process

P.S. So in any case I don't come out of this alive, you'd know who (or what) to blame.:)

.:. To a man who is more a woman than I am=)

2006-08-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

Because you were the closest and most real friend I got out of high school..

Because you're never scared to try again even if the last time seemed fatal..

Because you take time to appreciate things that I don't deem worthy to appreciate..

Because you take my advice to heart yet still use your own mind to run your life..

Because you are the only man (technically, you still are) outside my family who I can trust completely (even my family does)..

Happy, happy 20th birthday, Ramon!Ü

:: Updates 101

2006-08-18T12:20:00.000+08:00

A lot has been happening in my life, mostly bad than good. Sadsad. Anyway, after a very huge tearfest last Tuesday night, a sure-fail Investments midterm, a semi-bawi Project Management midterm, a Jono-and-the-HR-mems dinner; I am back up and running... fast.:)

Guess what? For the second time this month, me and my feasib groupmates are going home to Baguio for our feasib. It's not so amazing except that the last time we went home for the same reason was just last weekend. Some might say it's a waste of money, but when you know that the deadline is officially less than a month away, I'm pretty sure you'd give us some allowance. So why did we choose today as the lucky day? For one, Jeff won't be available by next weekend since the UP JPIA FP is street teasing on the 26th. On the next weekend, Hazel won't make it due to UP CE's EA which will fill the calles of Dish in ABS-CBN with performances beyond rhythm and style and UP ABAM's Business Seminar with free lunch and snacks plus a trade fair to boot. So, as a solution, I the "queen" of spontaenity suggested that we go home this weekend. This was the fastest decision ever made, considering it took us less than thirty minutes to decide on a 4-day feasib-fest just the afternoon before it. Yay to crazy suggestions!;)

So there, we're leaving later..

Wish us luck!=)

P.S. If it isn't obvious that I'm plugging, you're really weird. Buzz me in for inquiries on details, ticket prices, anything. In any of the three events, that is.=)

P.S.S Happy Birthday, Ramsy! Will make your birthday-post-thingy later.

P.S.S.S Pictures of the first Baguio trip will be available on my Multiply anytime soon. Cheers!

.:. And >POP!<

2006-08-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

Every single day, the truth that life is everything but perfect is revealed to me more and more. Things you thought were strong enough, like say, relationships - be it romantic or not - have succumbed to the hell-lot of pressures that the world has hammered it with. I, for one gave in, too, at some point and in some ways. I have had my share of put-on smiles, of false-and-about-to-crack laughs, or hard-to-utter kind words in times of near war-dom. To those who never had theirs I say that to pretend is hard but to tell the truth is far more complicated most of the time.

A friend who left once had a personal wish: that I learn to lie, or atleast be able to carry a lie. As of now, I think that wish is already fulfilled, or atleast I am now able to pull it off in the company of a not-so-close audience. Honestly, I don't know if I should be proud.

Don't get me wrong, I do not condemn pretentiousness, nor do I abhor people who practice it. At some point I do understand that a little dose won't kill anyone because it seems that it already is an essential to get past one's everyday life. It just makes me wonder about the virtues I once thought were common to everyone, like truth, sincerity, or plain un-apathy.

And then again, you wonder.

2006-07-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

Two girls turning twenty and twenty-something =)

Last night, no.. make that early this morning, Ivan and I were talking about nonsensical stuff and then a comment was made regarding the um, amazingly large number of people born on the month of July. And then he started counting back the months and more or less you already know what was concluded.:) One of them, make that two of them birthday celebrants are among my SupeRRR! friends in college: Hazel and Glecy. Here's a greeting to the two beautiful girls who are now amongst the lot of wonderful ahem, women.:)

To the blockmates who made my college life more bearable..
To the groupmates who made the meeting of deadlines possible..
To the seatmates who kept me awake during boring lectures..
To the lunchmates who made resto-hopping more fun..
To the chismis-mates who made gossip seem innocent yet interesting..
To the friends who made me feel accepted and loved..

A toast to cheap, genuine laughter; overflowing tears of joy; truthful, sensible learnings; heavenly yet non-fattening food (is there such thing?); raw, non-offensive chismis; brain-cracking, worth-it acads; and lastly, SENSELESS and MADDENING *F-U-N*!!!=)

*Cheers!*

2006-07-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

I want some UBE!

Saying that the weekend of July 1-2 was a blast would be an understatement. Yes, it was a whole lot more than what I expected and I am sure everyone will agree that a repeat is a MUST.=) The two days the HR Committee spent in Fontana not only made each and everyone closer -- it was indeed, as Glecy put it, an "Ultimate Bonding Experience".

Earlier I took it upon myself that the weekend should result to a happy entry by moi. But then I figured that there is no better way to capture the weekend that was than through pictures. So, here's one to semi-kill your browser! Although I'd want to post all the pictures, some were promised to be kept amongst us. So there. Enjoy!

P.S. Am trying to organize my Multiply account for my pictures to be viewer friendly.:)

Our faborit hobby: EATING!

Our second faborits: Pumose sa harap ng camera.:)

This was a first: Swimming -- we should do it more often!!!

The boys: some of them talks are true eh? Kidding.;)

The girls: Ahem, ahem. 'Nuff said. Hee hee.

Our family within CE...

This is why we're called a circle..:)

Next Stop: Tagaytay! Wee!!!:)

long overdue

2006-07-08T03:01:00.000+08:00

To the student who questions what is doubtfully said,
To the classmate who always had fresh kwentos,
To the sister who wrestles with her brother when they were once opposite in size,
To the daughter who loves a great deal yet rarely shows it,
To the friend who is "on call" in times of need,
To the girl who cares a lot more than you think,

To the strong woman behind the quirky face..

Happy happy 20th birthday!

I love you more than you know, dear. And I will be forever grateful for you.=)

Tra la la

2006-07-01T12:01:00.000+08:00

Just a couple more hours and we are off to Fontana for the weekend! It's the CE HR Committee TBS! Wee! I am soo excited and I just can't hide it. And yes, I am a couple notes short of singing to everyone's amusement, including you of course.=)

So there, will update about it when we get back and hopefully that'll include tonssa pictures, much to your browser's dismay. Hee hee.

I'm super excited about the coming sigsheets of CE and ABAM. Good luck nalang sa ABAM apps at sa synchronized kickboxing namin ni Ben! Wahaha.

So there. I shall be back to post by Sunday, hopefully. Oops! We're moving that afternoon pala. So make that a Monday, then.

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend!=)

P.S.
Agatha's birthday-o is coming up!=)

take a guess

2006-06-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

A Prayer

Thank you for blessing the road I walk on
That I'm walking on
I'm sorry for every mistake I fall on
Can't help but fall

You've changed this heart in me
And I know, I can always count on you
To give me the signs

In the wind on my face
Each time I try to run
From the sight of your grace
From the wrongs I have done

You shine down your light
Each time I need a guide
I say to hearts in despair
There's an answer to a prayer

Give me true love in my life, a peaceful mind
Save me from harm
Pull me back if I ever try to walk away
Don't let me stray

You've changed this heart in me
And I know I can always count on you
To give me the signs

In the wind on my face
Each time I try to run
From the sight of your grace
From the wrongs I have done

You shine down your light
Each time I need a guide
I say to hearts in despair
There's an answer to a prayer
Say to all hearts in despair, there's an answer to a prayer

You've changed this heart in me
And I know I can always count on you
To hear my prayers

You shine down your light
And I know there's an answer to a prayer

You shine down your light
Each time I need a guide
I say to hearts in despair
There's an answer to a prayer

all smiles

2006-06-21T02:20:00.000+08:00

There are times when as much as you want to keep things simple, you end up making a huge, almost-impossible-to-untangle cobweb of the whole thing. But come to think of it, each situation/problem/dilemma is really innately simple. There are just forces which go by such names as religion, tradition, conventions, and the too familiar Filipino "Manang" attitude (which come to think of it has given me enough headaches since God-knows-when).

As far as I can remember a major part (if not the whole) of my life has been affected by such conventions, and prolly will still be. It's just hard to go against practically everyone, which is why I admire those who can even in just little ways follow-their-hearts/minds. And then I had this idea that this go-with-the-flow attitude was prolly due to my strong belief in perfection, fate, and destiny so to speak -- that it exists. Thus, I have always held out for something... more: more beautiful, more exciting, more perfect. But then again at some point, you try to question what you have believed in for the longest time and realize that maybe, just maybe, that wasn't the real deal. Questions, such as, what if the outcome of your life just depended on your actions and/or reactions to the circumstances you face? That there was actually no pre-orchestrated life plan for each and every single soul here on Earth. [This is not saying that I no longer believe nor doubt the existence of a supreme being; all I'm questioning is the belief that something will become of someone even if there was no effort from such person.]

Then it dawned on me that I only had one life to live and if I were to choose, I'd rather live it my own way than follow other people's whims and wishes. That I'd consider the option that would make me happy, instead of going straight for the "right" option. Besides, I'm going to be the major player (who has both the smiles and tears) anyway and not that random stranger who'll most prolly curse me after reading this. Yes, I am aware that one's actions affect other people; but you'd also consider that it affects them less than it does me, whichever way you look at it.

All I'm saying is, "being happy" just became my new number one priority in life; not the usual making my parents happy, being a "model" elder sister, nor being the "perfect" friend.

With that thought in mind, it just makes it a lot easier to "just live".

hula baloo # 12

2006-06-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

>> I just got home from a fun afternoon-night with a lot of people (will mention them one by one na lang), hee hee.

>> Got up at around 8am to the sound of men fixing our broken lights which turned out to be a (suspicious) mistake since "someone" shut off our fuse box. I am so convincing myself that it was an honest mistake.

>> Arrived at my 1pm meeting with the Ventures Publication people at around 2pm (how unprofessional, I know) due to insane reasons I don't care to elaborate further. And, the new fine for late attendees (which I suggested, haha) would be to treat merienda for the whole team! I will never be late again, haha.

>> Meeting with the Ventures team went well. I am now officially the Features Editor and am tasked to come up with atleast 4 articles per issue, maximum of 3 issues this semester. Looking at a total of 12 articles in a semester sort of makes you think that the task at hand is easy or not hard to say the most, but thinking about it from a senior student's perspective, add to that the fact that I am limited to writing about either anything related to entrepreneurship or sponsoring company features kinda increases the difficulty up a couple o' notches. Still, I commend Ash for a serious-looking semester ahead and if he wants my opinion, I go for the broadsheet, dude.=)

>> Shout-outs to ANYONE as in ANYONE who'd want to be a Features Correspondent this semester : PLEASE give me a heads up. Thank you so so much! I am already eyeing two people though: Ivan and Pat Coloma -- guys be kind enough.=)

>> After a summer of not watching, I came alive once again with the two Kate's: Kate Bitara and Kate Reyes. I soo missed watching and watching with them. Too bad the team didn't find it within themselves to give us a 3-1 win. Oh well, this means that there's gonna be a Game 5 this Friday and a possible bonding with the former el presidente.=)

>> Next destination was the adjacent mall to watch The Lake House. Before watching we had a small talk with Kuya Randell and ate Kate had to leave. The Katipunan trio -- Kate, Jo, and I -- watched the movie and we all liked it. Well, the former two liked the house and the movie while I only liked the latter. There's just something with me and glass walls (I'm a very conscious person, I know). After the movie, we spent about an hour of Timezone time. The percussion game was exciting but it was testimony to my having zero hand-eye coordination. The Stacker was certainly addictive, seeing that we spent over a hundred for that game.

>> Going back to the movie, I really liked it. Made me think again (I have to STOP!) about my life and all its joys and misery. Haha, exaj. Anyway, I might get hold of the book they featured -- Persuasion. What becomes of this thinking and book you will most prolly know soon.

>> Shout-outs of a happy birthday to my co-intern, Alan (as if any one of them internmates would evah read this blog-o). Happy 22nd birthday, man! And I already know the origin of your friggin' name and I get why you didn't want to tell me personally. See you people on the 23rd!=)

walang hanggang pag-iisip

2006-06-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Forehead creases, eyebrows meet, mouth opens as an attempt at protest.. and in your little mind you see your head shake slowly, left to right, and then back. After a couple of seconds you realize that you were actually capable of having it -- that you were actually in self-denial.

I never thought that it was possible, lest I have been blind to the whole thing. I know very well that I don't know myself that much, hence, the self-discovery bouts I have had for the past years now.

A couple of days ago I was hit on the face by the truth, that to which I have been blind to since forever. I am a scaredy cat, a loser, whatever else is parallel.

Never was there a time that I took a chance on something, something as small as ordering something new on the menu at my favorite coffee shop. It was always my handy-dandy, my staple, or my quote favorite end-quote. Although I have been taking baby steps in this department, the big picture was still a blur to me, and still is up to now. I never had my share of breathtaking sighs, tears of joy, to-hell-with-the-world-cos-I'm-gonna-do-it scene. Suffice to say that I have never "lived the moment" in my whole life -- the whole nineteen years of it.

Sure I have had my cut with looking-like-an-idiot-but-I-don't-care moments, like the ones wherein I pretend to fly while walking in the sidewalks; but I really haven't taken that single step when it mattered. Why? Because I always thought that there was little point in taking it all in "right here, right now". It was always due to wishful thinking that something better would come along and thus there was no use savoring what I had then and there. Thinking about it now though doesn’t start me off with the list of things I'd rather not have done in the past -- I believe everything had a reason. But it does get me a little worried that I may not be able to live life fully, that people I meet won't come to know the real me.

I want to stop worrying. I want to be prepared, but not too much as to allow myself to be drowned thinking about the future and letting the present slide by.

I want to stop being afraid. Afraid of taking chances, of making bets, of sticking my hand out in the cold.

I want to, even if it means that in the end I might hurt.

Ala Pinoy Big Brother

2006-05-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

The original, I got as much as a couple of glances; the star-studded, I caught a few episodes; and the teeny-bopper, I missed but a few. The Pinoy Big Brother gave a new face to reality-TV in the Philippines and, as much as I loathe the idea of media network war, I would have to admit that ABS-CBN has made history with the said show. Due to said unfamiliarity and familiarity with respective seasons I'd prolly dwell on the teen-studded pie instead of the prior two.

From Day 1, my thoughts on PBB Teen Edition has gone from curious interest, pathetic shallowness, irritating frustration, admiration, and lately, genuinely touching. The emotions, quips, think-out-loud rare-a-moments I have seen on TV has reminded a lot about the -teen years of my life. Needless to say, I thought them kids to be all-out shallow and puppy-lovey-dovey. However, I realized that looking back I could as easily remember likewise shallow and pathetic moments I was once part of. It dawned on me that I was just like them at some point, and that somewhere down my reminiscing, I missed the child in me.

Today, Maco had her last day at work and as much as we didn't want her to leave, we tried to end the day with a >bang!<. And what better-er way to do that than to sing inside Gyvs' favorite videoke box. On the way to the 3rd song my partner, Arvin, gave way to tears of both joy and sadness. Everyone, either with visible drops or not, were affected by the songs to say the least. Happiness was beyond words for having realized that it was never too late to gain new friends. Sadness brought about by the idea of moving towards separate directions.

I think the CRT Office is like the PBB House: the cameras, the personal stations, the tasks. Although we have healthy additions like co-workers and freedom to "see the world", what I have experienced so far in this Internship Program has taught me a lot of things. Aside from friendship, it has taught me to relate better with people -- to adjust, to have patience, and more importantly, to listen. These lessons I will bring back with me when I go out to my own world, as I come back to the welcoming arms of UP and the oh-so-happy CBA house.

P.S. Yellow belter na ako sa gay lingo ngayon. Super dami ko na alam!
Here's a sampler:
tentacles = ten pesos
-ham = hundred
-kiao = thousand
bet = like/crush WIS!!! = wala/hindi >>>favorite namin lahat!
booking = secret! >>>wanna take a stab at it?

MAJOR blab

2006-05-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

Ahahaha, I just realized that this blog was already halfway dead! AHAHAHAHA!!!!

ANYWAY, let's start living up to the title of this entry, shall we?=)

A lot of things happened between the last post and this; too much that I fail to remember them all.. Off the top of moi head is my VERY late internship with IBM. As compared to all mis compadres en el kolehiyo who were already buried under spreadsheets, calculators, FMCG samples, an internship was still unknown to me by mid-April. The fact that the course would only be credited for the first 50 students made me feel lazy about the whole thing. But anyway, right in the middle of the last week of April, I committed myself to the aforementioned internship. I was so not in the proper mindset (read: in denial) that I had to do a double-take on my first day! Geez, the whole thing was way off 'cos my brain was smacked right in the middle of my English-Spanish dictionary. And as I expected, I think I was blabbering more than I expected to, with a few mispronounces here and unnecessary "malumanay" stresses there. I felt I had a rollercoaster inside my mouth.

It turns out that THAT was just the first day. Introductions and some chismis were thrown amongst us interns and later on we eventually warmed up to each other. We had few additions here and there (read: Jayson and Alan), but they made the group all the more fun. I have great bosses: Mark, Alfie, and Tintin. Aside from the work stuff that they make me do, I learned that there's always a room for friendship and a time for cheap laughter in the workplace. It was moving enough to make me put the 'working environment' above 'compensation' in my Career Assistance Program "Priorities Survey". Truly, the best of finds don't necessarily mean the priciest.=)

I feel lucky to have the opportunity to work with a group of diverse, smart, talented, and interesting people. From the top honchos like Therese and Sir Luis (I can't stop calling him 'Sir'); to the bosses like Mark, Alfie, and Tin; to the RAs who never fail to laugh at Gyvs and his being multi-lingual --- ALL AMAZING.=)

Although I didn't have a chance to design a marketing plan for some leading FMCG brand in a marketing-centered internship program, I can say that there is a sense of fulfillment in what I am doing. The people I have met, the friendships made, and the memories that will last -- all are making this internship all the more memorable and all the more hard to leave. Which is why I think I'm writing this; 'cos one of us will be leaving soon. As Mako mentioned, "There's always a time for separation."

But hey, separation doesn't always mean an end, right? With a positive mindset this situation might be seen as a beginning, the beginning of something brighter and better!

Ahahaha, I said MAJOR blabber. I think I ought to change it. *wink*

intelligente y idiota..

2006-04-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

..that's exactly how I feel right now. Although I wanted to enumerate the reasons for such extreme adjectives, I can't seem to arrange them in a presentable way so as not to offer an image of the title's second half. I suh-wear my tongue is mega pilipit and baluktot na. I'm fearing the day when I go back to my classes in BA and do my string of mispronounces just because I took Spanish for kicks. [Ehemplo: "is" as "es"; "Zelina" as "Thelina"; all the v's turning to b's; most c's and z's and d's as "th's"] -- get the picture?

Sigh. So much more to say yet so many thoughts jumbled. The scenario inside my head right now could be described this way: enter thought1, thought2, reject thought1, insert thought3... that happening in 1/23445th of a second.

I hate to admit it but this is prolly my crappiest post ever. La mierda (meaning: shit).

Next time it'll be nicer. Pwamis.

slowing down on the snapshots

2006-03-27T04:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was fun despite the fact that right now, Hazel and I are currently working on two major papers: one in Production/Operations Management (by pairs) and one in Marketing Management (by a group of 7). We fetched Airah at the airport around 12-ish in the morning yesterday. After six loong months, the girl is back home! Wee!=)

So there, we went back to Hazel's house (where I've been sleeping for the past days due to these deliverables) and feasted on cookies and Yan Yan, which contrary to what were used to, had melted chocolate. Anyway, while she was giddily handing out her neatly-sorted pasalubong, we went on and on chatting away stuff that happened about her, me, Haz, and the rest of the mad world. It felt really good to talk to the woman after six months of measly email and YM. And what's more, it was really amazing that the three of us just seem to pick up where we left off.. as if one wasn't gone for half of the year.=)

We slept on Airah at around 5.30 in the morning (according to her) and she had her share of much needed sleep at around 6. We spent half of the day at the mall, breakfast at Heaven and Eggs and second stop at CBTL. It was really ironic cos Haz and I haven't been in one CBTL ever since she left. Oh well.

After which, we set her off to the bus for Baguio. And went back to Glorietta. And back to work as well. So, as much as I'd want to proofread this entry of mine, I won't.. cos it's time to get back to work -- 10% more of the term paper and more than half of the mktg plan still awaits yours truly.

P.S.
My apologies for a crappy entry. I just wanted to keep the moment.:D

fate

2006-03-20T04:20:00.000+08:00

Rather than finish the last marketing case for this semester -- Colgate-Palmolive: Cleopatra -- or get a couple of hours sleep before my 10am final exam in Economics, I opted to sit in front of my computer and update this quasi diary (which, come to think of it, happens to live up to its name). I must admit that I get my priorities jumbled and scrambled too often for my own good. Hee hee

So what's so important to update anyway?

I just wanna share something that I've learned just recently: One vote CAN make a difference.

Since I'd rather not delve into the details, suffice to say that this year has been one of the most unforgettable elections in CE's history, and if God grants the recent clamor of the CE public, probably the best Inner Circle UPCE will ever be blessed with. *crosses fingers*

Although this is not saying that the outgoing IC fell short of anything, simply because they did not. The end of this semester marks my one year as part of CE (app process included), and my one year knowing the the organization's beautiful people. I would have to admit that I might be regretting the fact that I only joined during my junior year, the same way that Ate Mel did, come our own Tribute Night.

To begin with, I am not an org-person, I even rejected any notion of joining a sorority as soon as the invite was popped. But as everyhting does, I changed.

The recent elections showed me and hopefully the rest, that the general direction any organization was bound to take was dictated by its members, and that each and every single member indeed counted. With that, I am now ready to step up and serve my part for an organization that showed me what a family meant among people who didn't share the same set of genes.

My candidate lost. However, with the love and dedication of the newly-elected UPCE President, I would like to think that the vision was not lost altogether with the burning of the ballots. After all, CE deserves no less than the combined talents of the two of you.

All the best of luck to the incoming, and kudos for a job well done to the outgoing, Inner Circle!

mental note

2006-03-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

It is when you are most pressured that you have the least control of the things around you, most especially yourself. And during these times, it is character and not intelligence nor diskarte that keeps you afloat. Character, which is an irony in itself since it seems too simple of a word yet it requires silence in response to the most provoking things and thoughts.

One thing I learned to day: Of all the "enemies" one can have, it is the self that should scare the most.

**You know who you are and I must say that I have never been more proud of you. You deserve all the good things coming your way.

another one of those what-nots

2006-02-24T02:37:00.000+08:00

There's this musical called, "Once On This Island," that I so wanted to see from the time I heard about it. As far as I know, it's a musical and it was shown this month in RCBC Building in Makati -- too bad I found out too early that it was already over. Gah..

Anyway, the lyrics of one of the songs in the play got me thinking. I mean, what kind of girl am I? Not that I give the greatest damn as to what other people think of me cos usually, I don't really care. Just see this as part of my "Know Thyself" fit. In that regard, opinions are appreciated. I promise to try my best not to hit you when we see each other. Hee hee. *joking*

SOME GIRLS

Some girls take hours to paint every perfect nail
Fragrant as flowers, all powdered and prim and pale
But you are as wild as that wind-blown tree,
As dark and as deep as the midnight sea
While they're busy dressing, you lie here, warm and bold
Some girls you picture, some you hold

Some girls take courses at all the best schools in France
Riding their horses and learning their modern dance.
They're clever and cultured and worldly wise.
But you see the world through a child's wide eyes.
Their dreams are grand ones, you want what's just in reach.
Some girls you learn from, some you teach.

You are not small talk or shiny cars
Or mirrors or cologne.
You are the river, the moon, the stars.
You're no one else I've known.
Some girls take pleasure in buying a fine trousseau,
Counting each treasure and tying each tiny bow.
They fold up their futures with perfumed hands
While you face the future with no demands.
Some girls expect things others think nothing of.
Some girls you marry, some you love.

kahit ang kape pwedeng i-konek sa personality yehesss!

2006-02-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

As much as I'd want to post something of relevance, and although fleeting, something with sense, I can't find the time to organize my thoughts and so everything comes out like a huge Empire-State-building-tall blabber. Oh well.

On the side, I got this quiz from Francis's blog and decided to try it for myself. To those who don't know him, try visiting his blog by hitting on the link that goes by his name. I suh-wear he never fails to amuse me with his antics and his personal lingo. And I digress. True enough, I believe this has been my most accurate online quiz to date.

Cheers to caffeine and insomnia!

And to my coffee who never fails to brighten up my day, I shall be with thee later. Wee!

update

2006-02-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

Browsing over my friends' blogs, I realized I have been gone for some time. Maybe, even more than the "some time" I had in mind. Reasons? Um, nothing worth screaming national emergency. Just maybe, time.. and the things I had to do between my last post and now. Oh well, things have been going okay for me lately. Not really great, but, I guess everything's just fine.

Tomorrow's the first day of the CAP Career Fair. Yup, the day when all them peoples dress in yuppie-esque clothing and hand out their respective resumes to the different booths. Ofcourse, let us not forget the cheek-wide smiles and the finger-crossing, "Please let some darn office give me a call...." So there, I'm kinda scared. I take that back, I am scared. I am friggin' graduating in about two semesters and I'm freaking out. It's both so far and so near at the same time. Sigh.

That's about what I've been thinking, feeling, whatever-ish lately. Not so much of a story, but, oh well. And yeah, I am looking forward to our Singles' Night on Tuesday at the UP Fair. Cheers to singledom! *forget the fact I'm thinking I just sounded like a bitter ass* Mwahaha.

SHAMELESS PLUG:

The UP Association of Business Administration Majors invites you to join the "Give Face to Urduja Photography Contest," a pre-launch activity to Project Urduja, a series of events focusing on women-empowerment.

Contest Mechanics:
1. The contest is open to everyone.
2. Participants may submit a photograph or a group of photographs of their own concept of Urduja, a local historical warrior princess.Participants may do their own research on Princess Urduja.
3. Photographs may be colored, black and white, sepia or a combination thereof, maximum of 25.5 x 33 inches in portrait form.
4. A person may pass at most 2 entries.
5. Entries should be given a title, and should be passed along with the negatives.
6. A registration fee of PhP 150 should be paid for each entry.
7. Two registration forms must be filled upon submission of entries at the ABAM tambayan.
8. The Grand Prize entry shall be used as the background for all publicity materials of the Project Urduja.
9. Photographs taken using digital cameras will not be accepted. The deadline of entries is on February 10, 2006, 5:30 pm at the UP ABAM tabmayan, 4th floor, College of Business Administration.

Prizes are as follows:
Grand Prize: PhP 3,000 & 2 tickets to project launching
2nd place: PhP 1,500 & 2 tickets to project launching
3rd place: PhP 1,000 & 2 tickets to project launching

If you have any other concerns, please contact Clarice at 09175397883 or Lala at 09175333746.

The UP Circle of Entrepeneurs and the EMC2 Fraternity are co-organizing, "Eraserfest: Schizofairnia 2", Friday Night event of the UP Fair this coming Friday, February 17, 2006. Tickets @ Php85 each. If interested, you can reach me @ 09157852768 .

an end to all this

2006-01-17T02:28:00.000+08:00

As of yesterday afternoon, I have become officially depressed. Seriously, I am starting to wonder if there's a point in all this; sort of like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I'm starting to decipher whether the world has become harsh or if I'm just not capable of comprehending what it has to say.

I am at the door of a torture chamber right now. One that skipped the physical and just went head-on with the emotional and mental. My mind is reeling with to do's, not to do's and to give's (although you can forget the last cos that's just a spill from law class). Coffee has become my anti-depressant; moving its way through my veins just like blood.

I just realized that there is an unfathoming distance between deciding to do something and the actuality of doing it. I now affirm the saying that the first step is indeed the hardest to make.

I learned that it is possible for groupmates to be friends. Furthermore, I am convinced that each can bring out the best in the other for as long as each one keeps an open mind. Also, it is possible for girlfriends to be understanding of their boyfriends, save for one.*knowing smile*

It's weird to start an entry with frownlines creasing your forehead and your mood so low; then suddenly catch the corners of your lips curled upright and feel as though your eyes are smiling.

The second half of this month and the next month will basically determine my future. I am not joking nor overreacting. Maybe, panicking a little. So here's wishing that everything will turn out great, not just for me but for every, every all.=)

P.S.
:: Citibank is currently looking for a CitiService Officer who will serve as a Customer Service Representative for Financial Institutions. Interested parties can just leave a message in the chatterbox. Fresh graduates are welcome to apply.:)

birthday, birthday!

2006-01-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

HaPpY,

hApPy

BiRtHdAy,

Joana!!!:)

I've known you since Grade Two and we've seen each other in more ways than one. Heterosexually, that is. Haha!

We've dreamed the same things but only you ended up doing them. I might have chickened out a little, but I guess it's more of God's will for me to divert.

I miss you and I wish all the best for you!

P.S.

You look good in your uniform. Really.

*Mwah!*

(belated) birthday, birthday!

2006-01-07T12:55:00.000+08:00

Since this greeting is a couple days late and your my first friend to turn bente this year, I have nothing but this:

Happy 20th Birthday, Chard!

>moo!<

P.S.

Ang pikon ay laging pangit!

*smile*

bandwagon

2006-01-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

In the spirit of all that's good and new, I'd pretty much join the bandwagon and post up my resolution(s) for this year. Make that my FIRST resolution cos I haven't really done the year-starter since God-knows-when.

:: WATCH WHAT I EAT. Since my family has a close relationship with heart disease and diabetes, this is more of a NEED to me than a TO-DO. I have had my share of (un)memorable what-nots, enough to make my friends threaten me to go have myself checked. And I digress. So I will take my supposed diet seriously. That means no beef, pork, and a lot of other stuff you wouldn't really care to know. Also, this will serve as a semi-preparation for what Agatha said, "Zel, when you reach 40, you'll only be eating oatmeal." Jussst joking! I think I'd rather die than do that.

:: EXERCISE. Save for my PE this semester, which only happens for an hour and a half for twice a week, I have no physical activity at all. I don't know why but I seem to be doing my stretches less and less often. Katamaran is the lone idiot to blame here. So this particular idiot will be kicked in the ass for the rest of the year, hopefully. As inspiration, I heard a couple of my blockmates will be jogging every day starting Monday. Cheers to their newfound passion!:)

:: STOP PROCRASTINATING. I think this particular resolution should extend to everybody as well. Hee hee.

:: MAKE USE OF MY NEWLY REDEEMED STARBUCKS PLANNER. Speaking of which, I think this time of the year is making people planner-happy. I suh-wear I saw a lot of my blockmates scribble their stuvs in their planners, whether they're straight-from-National-Bookstore or make-shift ones. Plus, this planning thingy will be the key to downplay my paranoia, which will make the lives of the people around me waaaaay easier.

:: THINK 657,425,485 TIMES BEFORE BUYING ANYTHING (AND NOT AFTER). After the I-don't-plan-to-estimate pesos sales I've given Starbucks this December, I guess I would have to start thinking more prior to every purchase. Also, I'm not going to set a target per week cos I know I would be bargaining to lower it anyway. Magic word this year is, "SAVE, SAVE, SAVE!"

:: SMILE. I don't know why but this seems to be the most important of all. Hee hee.

Different

2005-12-24T12:41:00.000+08:00

It's the 24th and like my friend, Agatha I'm not feeling all Christmassy. Still, it is unlike the past Christmasses. For one, I used to feel all drama-rama during Christmas, for reasons that are either unclear or unknown. This year seems, umm, blah. Yeah, that is the perfect word for it. So now, I'm just not quite sure that I like this better than the drama overflow. It seems like feeling all gaga and shit is way better than not feeling anything at all.

(ab)normal

2005-12-24T01:30:00.002+08:00

I just got back from Tin's party and my eyes are swollen. Today marks the first day that I got really, really mad and hurt by my sister. For those who are unacquainted, err, everyone for that matter, anger equals pails and pails of tears. I don't know but for me, the two just go (not) amazingly together.

Well anyway, I don't really plan to kill you with drama so I'd rather talk about what's been happening to me lately.

:: The first semester of my junior year marked my two firsts: the Oblation Run and the Lantern Parade. Well technically, the Oblation Run thing wouldn't count cos I didn't see anything new, I just got to see the navels of two runners. Nothing more. Oh well, I prefer it to stay that way, anyway. As for the Lantern Parade, we didn't just watch the thing, we even ended up joining the parade. For someone who took part in several parades in the streets of Baguio, I can say that doing the same in UP Diliman was way different.

:: Speaking of firsts, this coming February I would hopefully take part as audience in the much-awaited UP Fair. Hazel and I are planning to staff for CE, since the organization, for the second time, would be co-handling the Friday night of the fair together with the EMC2 Fraternity.

:: I got my computer, and am in need of several installers like Adobe PhotoAlbum. Also, I am officially broke cos I had to buy a flashdisk. At least, I will get to enjoy free wireless internet starting January. Wee!

:: A love-hate relationship really exists between me and window-shopping. Last night, I estimate my wants included a bag (Php1200), a pair of rubbershoes (Php3000), on-sale slippers (Php400x3), plain shirts and capris from 2 shops (PhpI'd-rather-not-say), and BOOKS. Seriously, I was almost 99% decided to get the books and forget the former four mentioned. Ask me again the question, "In which store would you use your unlimited card?" and I'm sure any book store would be my answer.

Haha, several weeks of not updating and only those happened. Good gawd, I seriously need a life.

Opinion

2005-12-01T18:58:00.000+08:00

The word parliamentary reminds me of high school and the debates that I
once joined during my fourth year. I saw my face smile, laugh, and burn
with humiliation and the occasional rage. Anyway, I thought that I
already knew everything that there is about the Philippines and the
parliamentary system. I thought that once asked I would have my answer
right away, but then again I was wrong. Here's a forwarded email from
my BA 170 Marketing Mgmt professor, Dr. Ben Paul B. Gutierez.

Finally, a forwarded email worth reading... especially during these
times. Feel free to share your thoughts.:)

============================================================================

Folks:

If you agree with the views expressed in the article below, please
disseminate it to you friends. There is a need to build opposition to
the move by politicos to acquire even more power for themselves
through the shift to a parliamentary system. Admittedly, given the
power and influence of politicos, the hope of defeating this
initiative may be slim but we owe it to our children to try.

Thanks,
Rene
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- (The article below appeared in the Philippine Star, Nov.30, 2005)

NO! TO A PARLIAMENTARY SYSTEM

* René B. Azurin

(Dr. Azurin is Co-Chair of the ConCom's Committee on Form of
Government. He teaches Strategic Management at the U.P. Graduate
School of Business.)

Hop on board the express train to a parliamentary system, say our
politicos. Anyway, the shift is inevitable, one trumpets. If we change
our form of government to that of our better performing neighbors and
eliminate legislative gridlock, we shall reap the rewards of economic
prosperity, they all promise.

The advocates of the shift to a parliamentary system argue

that it is our form of government that is holding us back and
preventing us from keeping economic pace with our neighbors. They
argue that the "legislative gridlock" built into the presidential
system is the main problem and that eliminating this - which the
fusion into a single body of the executive and legislative branches of
government (the distinguishing feature of the parliamentary form) will
do - will speed up our economic growth and development.

These arguments are so weak it is hard to believe that
even
those making them actually believe what they are saying.

For every country with a parliamentary government that is racing ahead
of us economically, one can cite a country with a presidential system
that is doing as well or better. In Asia, for example, Malaysia and
Thailand (which are parliamentary) may be performing better than we
are, but so are South Korea and Taiwan (which are presidential) and
these latter two are even stronger economically. The economic
performance of a country is a function of its economic policies,
resource endowments, and certain environmental conditions, not its
form of government. (China, an economic racehorse, is not even a
democracy.) In fact, in a parliamentary system, it is much more
difficult for government to adhere to economic policies that are right
for the country as a whole because such are often in conflict with the
special interests typically represented by members of parliament. Of
course, all politicos represent special interests. This problem,
however, is compounded in a parliamentary system because the fusion of
executive and legislative power in the parliamentary form simply puts
too much power in the hands of politicos. They can do virtually
anything.

We can easily dispose of this issue of "legislative gridlock". It is
argued that the elimination of legislative gridlock as a result of
adopting the parliamentary form of government will solve the country's
problems and lead to accelerated economic growth. This argument is
based on the wrong premise that legislative gridlock is what has held
back the country's economic progress. This is simply not true. There
was no legislative gridlock at all during the Marcos years and yet it
was during this period that the Philippines fell behind its neighbors
in economic performance. There was hardly any legislative gridlock
during the Cory years and the Philippines fell even farther behind.
Our failure to keep pace with our neighbors is a consequence of
protectionist economic policies, too much regulation, and, basically,
too much government. Not entirely facetiously, one might even say that
legislative gridlock may sometimes help in that it prevents our
politicos from doing the country more harm.

In a parliamentary government, the Prime Minister and his ruling gang
decide what projects to implement, they allocate the funds from the
budget for these projects, and they are also in charge of executing
these projects. This gives the ruling cartel enormous power. This
effectively makes the entire national budget (except for debt
servicing, salaries, other fixed expenditures) one big 'pork barrel'.
In a parliamentary system, there is no check for the power of the
Prime Minister and his cabinet except to resort to the Judiciary, but
that assumes one can actually document and prove wrongdoing (which is
never easy to do). If we are now disturbed by the way politicos are
presently wielding more limited powers, what should we imagine will
happen after they've been given virtually unlimited powers? And, if
even the proponents of the parliamentary form now attribute many of
the nation's problems to politicos, why in heaven's name would they
propose a solution that gives even more power to politicos? If this
isn't completely illogical, it is at least terribly naive.

Parliamentary proponents might counter this by saying that

the Prime Minister and his cabinet can be changed at any time through
a no-confidence vote and that this constitutes the check against the
ruling coalition's abuse of power. They always cite this ability to
change leaders at the drop of a hat as a major virtue of the
parliamentary system. Actually, it is a very serious shortcoming with
easily predictable repercussions. The instability of the Prime
Minister's tenure and his utter dependence on the votes of the other
members of Parliament for his stay in office from one day to the next
means that he is forever hostage to the demands of every member of
Parliament. Thus, the decisions that can be expected to be made by a
parliamentary government will usually be short-term in nature, often
inconsistent, narrow in focus, and rarely congruent with the national
interest. The parliamentary system enshrines 'horse trading' as a way
of governance. The perceived 'transactional' decisions supposedly
being made by the President to win the support of Senators and
Congressmen is a pale preview of the constant and recurring
'transactional' decision-making that is inherent in a parliamentary
government.

Given that even those who advocate the parliamentary form concede that
political and economic power in this country is too concentrated (in
less than 1% of the population), the obvious appropriate response
should be to adopt ways that disperse power, not ways that concentrate
it further. Thus, a shift to a parliamentary system is a totally
inappropriate reaction to the country's present political and economic
realities. What it does is concentrate power even more instead of
spreading and distributing it. Moreover, it allows such concentrated
power to be wielded more easily and more effectively than is possible
in a presidential system where the executive and legislative functions
remain separate.

Certainly, we need some changes in our Constitution and in our system
of government. Such changes should include limitations in the powers
and prerogatives of public officials, electoral reforms, a better way
of impeaching or recalling elected officials, reforms in the Judiciary
to expedite judgments and make the system of justice more effective,
enhanced local autonomy, and the liberalization of the economy and the
removal of citizenship restrictions on the exploitation of natural
resources, the operation of public utilities, and the ownership of
land, mass media, advertising companies, and educational institutions.
We should also enshrine voluntary exchange, open market competition,
private initiative, and minimum regulation as the bases of national
economic policy. If we want to stop looking enviously while foreign
capital pours into our neighboring countries and creates the
employment that spurs their economic growth, these are things we need
to do. We do not need to change to a parliamentary form of government.

Those who still harbor the mindset that it is government that will
lead the country to economic prosperity should abandon this kind of
outmoded thinking. Only business - by creating products and services
that are competitive in a global marketplace - can do that. Government
doesn't create products. Government only creates costs. Government
should be viewed for what it is, and this is that it is merely a
support function. What we really need is for government to spend less
and tax us less.

In any event, it is obvious that momentum is building for the shift to
a parliamentary system. Most of the major players in our political
firmament are pushing it. We can expect these politicos to campaign
for the ratification and, with their personal constituencies, it could
already be a foregone conclusion that this shift will be ratified in a
plebiscite. The only (slim) hope for this not happening is if enough
concerned citizens make it their crusade to oppose this. Concededly,
this is not very likely because it is difficult to generate much
public interest in such an abstract and unexciting issue. Which is too
bad: giving unchecked power to politicos by shifting to a
parliamentary system has long-term consequences and future generations
should blame us for this mistake.

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....', Dickens
once wrote, and - if the shift to a parliamentary form of government
does come to pass for us - we may yet get to see what this means. It
will then be the best of times for the politicos and, potentially, the
worst of times for the rest of us.

Continuing, Dickens wrote, '...it was the age of wisdom, it was the
age of foolishness....' Well, when the shift to a parliamentary system
happens, the politicos will look very wise, and the rest of us very
foolish.

measly updates ... part2

2005-11-23T13:18:00.000+08:00

Whaddyaknow?? I named my 3 new stuffed kids already, with the help of Agatha. They are: Bill (gray pup), Bob (giraffe), and Ben (gold-ish pup), henceforth collectively referred to as , "The Bs". She suggested all three names and I decided which stuffed kid was to be named what.

And then, I received a couple more gifts! Agatha got me another one, a dream book with a bongga wrapper. Seriously, my roommate was begging me to ask her where she had it wrapped. Tin, on the other hand, bought me coffee from Marks&Spencer. I tried it already and it's soo good. Sabi na, "you can never go wrong with coffee".

What else?

I haven't thought about my Starbucks name yet. Grr. I think only Glecy has thought of hers already. Sidenote: She officially ditched "Leslie". If you ask me, bagay naman niya. Hehe.
My mom got me a laptop already, can't use my Dad's na daw kasi. Nahihiya pa ako kay Nicci cos I semi told her that I would get from her friend. She was supposed to give me a Php3-5thou discount pa naman. Sigh.

Ayyy, sadsad. Wala na ako maisip..:(

Ayyamoutt!:)

Warning

2005-11-17T21:22:00.001+08:00

It's amazing what friends can do. Really. They share the good times in your life and make you feel all the more better. They listen to you in times of whining and self pity. Although in my case, they usually perform it through a number of steps:

1. Sense that there's something wrong.
Qualification#1 to be Zel's friend: Have a 7th sense

2. Ask if there's something wrong.

3. Sense more.
Qualification#2 to be Zel's friend: Have an 8th to detect if I'm lying

4. Work up courage to ask if there's REALLY something wrong.
Hint: Ask me with the I-mean-the-truth look

5. Listen. Nod occassionally.
Note: Sub questions appreciated

6. Spill the advice.
Note: I need a sort of face-slamming-the-door truth, sometimes.

Sidenote: And since you've had a hard time of getting the something-wrong part out, why not make the most of it?

So you see, it's not an easy task to be my friend. Especially if you do share a lot and I am, well sort of "mute" when it comes to that part of the conversation. Ergo, I should be thankful I have many friends. Friends who don't get tired. In fact, they're kind enough to believe in me more than I do.. most of the time.

So to my friends, THANK YOU.

P.S. Feeling ko wala na akong magiging new friends once they read this post. Haha. Oh well.

of measly updates, birthday cakes, and more.:)

2005-11-15T11:50:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday, I surprisingly turned 19. I don't know what was with that day but I woke up extraordinarily happy and excited. I don't usually feel that way, you know. Not like Airah who is, as she put it, Miss Birthday Big Deal. I used to (and still do) think of birthdays as just a normal day, save for the fact that people send you birthday greetings and well-wishes. But as I said earlier, something was unusually different that day.

To those who don't know, UP started classes during that same day. Although technically that was only for us, no-Wed-or-Sat-class people. So that day was filled even more with the aforementioned greetings.

Among my friends, I saw Jeons, Rei, and Richard. It's ironic cos we all belong to the same college and yet I don't see them often. They were all bursting with back-to-school enthusiasm and well-wisher glee that I couldn't help but smile and be thankful I have such happy friends. Hee hee.

I also got accepted in PE. Whattamiracle.:) Although you can take that back right now since "the condition" for it was crazy. No absences. Excused or not. Period. Diiiieeeeeeee!

(Admire my beautiful schedule (PE not included). *evil laugh*)

Back to the good things. What more than gifts???

1. A Nemo bath towel (which I plan to keep new forever) from Rei and Lawrence.

(picture will follow. Hee hee.)

2. Three stuffed animals. Golden-ish pup (topmost). Gray pup (middle row, left). Both with leather-ish collars. And a giraffe (middle row, right). I still have to name them, though.

Here they're together with my colorful hamster, Sammy (bottom), and keychain giraffe, Mash (center).

2. A jar filled with red everything! Sour belts, thin sour rolls (?), M&Ms, foil-wrapped chocolates, gummy bears! I'm thinking the salesperson in whatever candystore thought they were weird.

After finishing the jar, I'm betting I'm gonna look like her:

Save for the hair color, ofcourse. Mwahaha.

P.S.
Airah, come home. Birthdays aren't the same without you, Miss Birthday Big Deal.

P.S.S.
I take that back. I have to stop being selfish.

P.S.S.S
Harry Potter, tomorrow! Wee!

(not) true

2005-11-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)

You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.
Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.

You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.
You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.

A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.
You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.

In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.

At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.

With others, you tend to be polite and formal.

As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.

On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

the usual prick

2005-11-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

I arrived here in Manila yesterday.. in time to pay for my new dorm.. in time to have some spared for rest prior to registration day. Sounds okay, you say. But it wasn't quite so.

I got a new place to stay in Katipunan. Reasons for such are:

1. It's closer to case venues (i.e. Starbucks in Katipunan, SBC in Katipunan). Key word here being, Katipunan.

2. It's newer. It's whiter. It's cleaner. Plus I get to enjoy the benefit of having my own bathroom. Now THAT makes it NECESSARY.

3. NO CURFEW. Need I say more?

Now on to the wasn't-quite-so part. I had a semi-thick stack of Php1000 bills from my Mom at around 2am, Monday morning. At around 11am, i had only a number. Money really runs off like water these days. And the price of gas... jeez! Dati parang isang litro lang ng coke. Ngayon pang taxi na. Ooookay, so I got carried away.:)

So awhile ago I did the inevitable "paglilipat" and now am happily settled in my new "home". I guess it's all good save for the fact that I have to wake up early tomorrow in order to change one subject. Reason: to avoid a CBA-hater professor. Just so you know, he's from Econ and not from BA. I'm taking Econ as an elective this semester.

Again to the bad part. Hazel and I were kind of jealous cos a number of our blockmates got letters from P&G. Why? Cos they have fucking GOOD GRADES. Grr. Which reminds me of one of my grades this previous semester. Iara said everyone got a 2-something. That doesn't make me feel any better, in fact, it makes me all the more want to kill my professor.

My Mom reminded me to study well as I left the house. She added, "Do not relax until you graduate."

My answer was, "I really can't afford to, Mom. Naghahabol pa ako."

Yes, ako ay naghahabol. Gusto ko mag-graduate ng may "laude" na nakadugtong sa pangalan ko.

May reklamo?

random.stuff

2005-10-18T02:45:00.000+08:00

I am home.. at last.=)

I went out with good people today, with:

Jaimar for about a good twenty minutes..

Rams and his friend* for most of the time..

And Kay for practically the whole time.

I had a good. (short-handed) catching up tonight.=)

Will post when something post-worthy happens.

Up until that time, will nurse my throat cos it's hurting up pretty bad.:(

*I'm not good with names. But I didn't forget that he does the violin. Hihi, really sorry.:)

still.. nothing beats a live greeting

2005-09-20T20:22:00.000+08:00

Happy, happy birthday, Airah!

"See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around." - Dave Matthews Band

Airah. I (we) miss you. I hope you had a great day. Take care of yourself, dear.

*biggest and warmest hug*,

moi

inside-out

2005-09-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

I've always believed that when what you do is something that you enjoy, you will never work a single day of your life. This spelled my utmost goal -- to find and search for that thing that I will do and enjoy doing for the rest of my life -- my passion. As I embark on the hell stretch of this year's semester, I got scared. I thought I already knew what I wanted.

Not that I plan on shifting, I am happy with BA. Seriously, even if the requirements and pressure that they just love to throw at us may seem close to unbearable, I still enjoy doing it. What I'm gonna do after is the million-dollar question. By January, we are sort of expected to submit our resumes for OJT this coming summer. Shortly after is the year. Honestly, I don't know if just want to remain a student forever, or I just don't know what to do. I'm guessing it is much, much more the later.

All my life I've always thought of myself as a risk-taker. But my actions speak otherwise. Once I finally ordered something new, my heart was beating so fast, I suhwear. I take comfort in security, which makes me settle for routine even if my soul is begging for some spontaneity. That's why not-knowing is totally freaking me out.

Two years ago I took a psychological test to help me figure if I'm in the right course. The counselor affirmed that I am, the things that I want to do are within my circle, I just have to figure out what it is exactly that my heart truly desires. The most dominant career path that she was able to draw from my test was human rights law. She related it to my interests and to the desire to do social work. Actually, it was eerily close to what I thought I wanted to do.

My friends can almost feel their individual selves embarking on their passion already. I am still picking up the pieces towards discovering mine. I just hope the fear of uncertainty doesn't get the better of me.

3-in-1 post

2005-09-07T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm too lazy to post this individually so I won't. Hehehe

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY to my sister, Agi!:)

and

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to my good friend, Jeona!:)

I love you both.

Happy, happy.Ü

---------

Is the importance of someone measured by literally how much time passed since you first saw each other, by the number of words exchanged, or by the meals you had together? Meaning, those you have known since birth matter a whole lot more than the person you met ten minutes ago? Or does the attachment grow due to the quality of said events? The former's keyword being frequency and the latter, quality.

During the weekend, for the lack of things to do, I watched Cold Mountain for the second time. The movie hit me then (my first watch), I realized, for the wrong reasons. I think it boiled down to the effect a tragic story has on me: I don't like it to happen, thereby repressing the thought, thus making the thought last. Grr.

I found myself wondering with the characters, Ada and Inman, why they had such a strong connection when they've only seen each other a couple of times, and Inman was the perfect laconic conversationalist that the words they exchanged could be easily counted using the fingers of both hands.

I mean, for a person to wait for someone who's chances of coming back is like 85:15, not to mention that you've had such short encounters, is totally trivial to me. But, naughty side emerges and reminds me of the kiss. Yeeessss, that passionate lip-locking encounter they had right before Inman left for war. Hmm, that might be it. But then again, who am I to know-slash-say that that's the only good kiss both characters had since God-knows-when? Oh well.

Anyway, I guess what Inman said sums it up, "A thousand moments. They're like a bag of tiny diamonds glittering in a black heart. Don't matter if they're real or things I made up. The shape of your neck. The way you felt under my hands when I pulled you to me."

Sabi na eh, it was the kiss! Hahaha, i kid.

And to answer the question earlier, I guess only a fool would say that it is the former that makes it count.:)

---------

Before I forget, last night was the Talent Night of the UP Circle of Entrepreneurs - Applicants, and I'm one of them! Hahaha. To all my Finance co-apps (as if they'd be able to read this), sooorrryy I forgot the steps of such a short, short dance. I hate myself.:( And to Glecy, I'm very sorry I ruined your dance, missy.

And congratulations to the winners, the HR apps! Although I only watched four of the five groups, you obviously deserved it.:)

Gahh. Sorry to the finance members, we didn't do enough to win. Hall of Famer pa naman ang Finance. Huhuhu. Anyway, we had the best and the biggest banner naman. Thank you sa mems! Hehehe.

And on a lighter note (sabi kasi ni Kat I should post about it, but then again ayoko nga. Hehe), yesterday was my first time to hold a condom. We used it for Neo's fake boobs. Nangingining kaya ako, and take note, naka-pack pa un. Then Kat was reading the instructions and said that she prefers holding it than reading the box cos the way they worded the instructions was far worse. Oh my, it was really freaky. Neo asked tuloy what year I was in na, then I said I'm a junior, which made him laugh cos I was even older than him. Yay, loser.

This is soo freaky.

2005-08-30T16:21:00.000+08:00

You're Katherine "Kiki" Harrison
(Julia Roberts - 'America's Sweethearts')

Always the shoulder to cry on, you try to juggle
the lives of those you care about while
battling with your own. You have a beautiful
smile, a wonderful sense of humor and charming
wit, but often go unnoticed. Too many times
others get the spotlight, but that's ok by you.
You don't need the limelight, you just want
that special someone to recognize you for the
loveable and loving person you are.

You're booksy, artsy, and creative. You prefer
toned down, subdued classic clothing to express
your personality.

You do have a hard time expressing yourself
outwardly, and often turn to some 'thing' for
comfort, while you carry the brunt on your
shoulders.

You're ambitious and professional and succeed at
everything you tackle.

All in all, you're the rock.

Which Romantic Comedy Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yada, yada, yada

2005-08-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

The past days have been a mix of both joy and sorrow.. And maybe NOt exactly sorrow, I exaggerated that a bit. Let's just say that I had my share of trying times.:) But now, they're all marching their way out the door! Weee!

Tsk. tsk. tsk. I don't know what to do with my hair! Geez, to those who aren't Zel-acquainted, from that sentence alone you may have the idea that I could be the average walking kikay kit. Ding-dong, wrong impression. I am positively sure that I'm gonna fall out of the Zel-acquainted masses' list of vain people. Not that I don't care at all, I just don't make a huuugge deal out of those things to the point of having what, three shades of lip, cheek tint or whatever thing a kikay girl could possibly have stored deep in the recesses of her three-inch tall handbag. Personally, the scent of a newly bathed person still tops my list.:)

Yeah, I know, I zoomed out of course again. Well, back to my hair. It's freakishly long na now that Jeona's threatening to cut it. Tipong, "Zel.. one night, just give me one night and your hair's done." And she was serious enough to mention it for like five times already, with the occassional playful tug. I have no aydeeya what to do with it kasi. I'm debating on whether to just have it styled or, add curls to the its uber straightness for a change. The only problem is if the icky hair curling chemical's gonna be strong enough to last more than a week cause looking back to grade school days I remember our helper using rollers on my hair and keeping it overnight just so they'd achieve curly locks but to her dismay and everyone else's, the curls just last for a couple of hours and they're back to their old straight self again. So there, I may be doomed to throwing money for a two-hour curly 'do.

One of my friends is leaving for Korea in less than two friggin' weeks. I'm so sad.:( Huhuhu. Seriously, I've known her since I was nine and a half years old and I've never spent more than a week apart with her for the last three years. I am soo gonna miss her. But I'll save her story for another post. When she's away na and she can't come back here as fast as she would want to in order to kick me.:)

By the by, as Jeona and I were trudging along Katipunan yesterday I decided to add to my phone's collection of random shots. I wanted to take photos of the avenue itself so we had to go up the overpass beside Starbucks. From the looks of it, my phone's seem to have done a pretty good job. Here they are:

*Sigh. I live for incoherence. Hahaha*

Gah..

2005-08-25T01:32:00.000+08:00

irregardless of the happy day i had awhile ago, i just need to let this out:

although i hate the mere thought of being apathetic, sometimes, it just is the most convenient way to handle things..

yes, i might change my mind in five seconds but for now, let me be.

emotions suck.

THE amiable ex

2005-08-20T20:12:00.000+08:00

ex-es. aka former friends, date-mates (?), or the people with whom you shared a part of your life for, hopefully, a definite span of time.

for the sake of 3/4 endless discussions and 1/4 boredom, this particular brand of individuals can be categorized into three types:

1. ex-es who turn out to be your enemies;

2. indifferent ex-es;

3. and lastly, amiable ex-es.

well, the third type usually picks our interest the most. point of contention being its existence. some, well okay, most of my friends believe that such a thing does not exist. disbelief goes as far as saying, "'yung mag-usap kayo for under ten minutes, pwede pa, nagsasalita ka pa eh. may ngiti ngiti pa sigurong kasama. pero 'pag lampas nun, iinit na ulo mo, wala na." that strong, eh?

i, personally, thought that such a thing couldn't exist. why? first and foremost, cos i wasn't born with sky-high disassociation skills. thus, it's not easy as splicing the tape of your memory and removing the whole "we" part.

but then again, maybe it does. a close friend of mine gave it a shot and well, i think, almost succeeded. have to keep in mind that this particular task requires two people for it to materialize.

"so it's possible?", you say. i say, it just might be.:)

when a title won't really matter

2005-08-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

bu-bumm!

You got to give a little..
Take a little..
And let your poor heart..
Break a little..
That's the story of.. That's the glory of love!
You've got to laugh a little..
Cry a little..
Until the clouds..
Roll by a little..
That's the story of.. That's the glory of love!

in a sea of faces, there will always be one that attracts you the most. the same goes for the heart-fitting craze i mentioned some time ago. and, i never expected it to be anything but.

indeed, witnessing true love is a breathe of fresh air.:)

labels

2005-08-09T17:41:00.000+08:00

..can go both ways. they can do you good or do you bad.

i have learned that when you take a label as something you buy or pay for, ethics ensures that you get something in return for the higher amount that you shell out.

but when it takes the form of a tag, a pseudonym, or a nick.. you have a totally different story.

instead of receiving something that is wanted and expected, you get something that's pretty much either a compliment or an insult.

as much as i do not want to, indifference is a skill i have yet to learn, and to practice.

i guess it's a pretty important element in today's world survival kit.

my mother's daughter

2005-08-08T02:33:00.000+08:00

taddah! i finally finished my new layout. although not everything came from me (refer to: thank you's), i pretty much did a lot of modifications. oh well, i soo like it.:)

----

today was a rather haaay.. day.

i almost died this afternoon. seriously, it felt like an inch away from death-dom. as airah put it, "talk about biglaan."

some history. about five months ago, the same situation happened. it was freaky. made my valentine's day (un)memorable. after getting two of my best friends in the whole world worried, and panicky, and then worried again, i did not do anything. why? cos the next months turned out to be normal and being the scared-of-the-doctor girl that i am, shoved the (un)memorable occassion at the far corners of my memory. also, my grandma told me that my mom used to have it too. in fact, she was always rushed to the hospital for it. talk about hereditary sick genes.

and no shit, it came back to remind me.. although the pain-meter said it was far worse, the scene didn't hit it off that bad since i was able to learn from the last time that i should tell my companion immediately. so there, it wasn't much of a scene.

scared. that's what i'm feeling right now. promised good ol'd friends that i would inform my parents, and that i would go get a major check-up. oh no..

what if this was already something serious?

*sniff* *sniff*

P.S.
Mommy, you remember the way i always point out that you don't take care of yourself (i.e. go for check-ups) until it becomes way too serious? i should be scolded too. big time. and i will let you have your share of it once i get home.

(un)bearable unpredictability

2005-08-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

life is soo unpredictable.

today you might feel low and not care at all.

tomorrow might find you on top and you're not even half-excited as you thought you would.

time flies so fast you want to make the call to just "freeze" it.

memories are for keeps whether you want them to or not.

choices are just good for the "to do's" and the "will i?s", not the "have been's"

but sometimes, sometimes you just know that you don't have a choice.

here, you turn to fate. or destiny. better yet, to God.

if none of these applies, better take the next flight to Mars.

here, here!

2005-07-28T18:14:00.000+08:00

nothing could be better than a class made of intellectuals (or what i call "smarts"), eager to learn new things, perhaps even to question these new things. the recent finance class was, again another outburst of knowledge to the delight of our professor. it was interactive so to speak to the point that blockmate A and blockmate B were particularly directing their opinions and/or qualms at each other. being one of the presentors, i must admit, the feeling was quite odd when another person outside the group was defending the arguments which you have shared from the very start of the case. you do not feel anything negative towards that person, you kinda feel bad for yourself. but, when you take a look at it at the point of a person who goes ga-ga over the idea of intellectual freedom, you are left to do nothing but smile or applaud (if you're that overly happy).:)

what's more laudable is the fact that whatever happens in class, whether i quash your argument in front of forty or so people, add to that the professor, everything stays there. with everything i mean, everything negative. cliche as it may sound, it is indeed all in the spirit of knowledge and the freedom you exercise to defend whatever it is you believe in.

i don't know if the same thing goes for all classes in other schools, but i must say that i really am happy that i was there, in that particular class, at that particular time. nothing beats the University of the Philippines' love for academic freedom.

Harry S. Truman worded my sentiment (though in a grander scale) best, "In a free country we punish men for crimes they commit but never for the opinions they have."

yawning

2005-07-22T04:35:00.000+08:00

.."coffeeshop" music playing

..simultaneous conversations

..books on the table

..good cup of coffee in hand

.. *le sigh* ..

Life is good.:)

new record set

2005-07-14T12:01:00.000+08:00

I battled with myself to get up, went straight for the bathroom. Ahh.. taking a bath is one of the bestest things... too bad it had to end.:(

Disassociation is not one of my talents. Why? I have no idea. Currently deciding on whether or not to grant Dawson's pretty wish of a credit line. What's more? He's asking for one on an unsecured basis. Talk about ccrazzyy.

Geez. We're only required to produce two pages and yet were so laboring over it.

Anyway, the usual monthly pain is here again. at this time of the month, I swear I wish I were male. Sheesh.

From Starbucks we went to McDonald's for the ABAM Party. Guess what? Sir Lanot's the newly appointed organization adviser. I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, Mr Gay Looking Manager slash Party MC decided to include me in one of his "arrange yourselves" games. I guess he just ended it cos he got scared of my ala dart looks. Mwahaha. Or my mind bullets that were constantly wanting to topple him over. That particular game made a record in my book as my second McDo game at eighteen years old. *Sidenote: First one was at Tin's 18th birthday, with her >secret<*

And I won. Yey for me.

Hazel joined a game too. One with balloons and I shall stop right there cos she might kick me.

------------------

Today's reaffirmed discovery: The hardest challenge one has to face every day is getting out of bed.

Shoot me.

wedding bells

2005-07-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

Having the littlest amount of sleep or none at all will surely drive you nuts at some point.

Mine was today. It wasn't that bad but still, feeling your head's numbness [what the hell am i saying?] for almost a day is freakishly weird. I wonder how people with serious insomnia survive.

Anyway, we dropped by The Banquet this afternoon.. had to know "the works" of running an events planning business for 186. The interview went pretty well.. started formal-ish at first but the moment they learned that Kat's cousin was a former customer, everybody loosened up.

What really struck me was the dedication that they devoted to each wedding/event they handled. Each wedding most likely ended with a close friendship formed between them and the bride-to-be-now-wife. It was literally a breathe of fresh air.

Now i'm thinking of another career option. Hmm, why not?:)

birthday, birthday!

2005-07-08T20:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Hazel!Ü

This picture was during Haz's birthday, last year. I didn't have a blog then.:)

from L to R: chard, airah, tata, zelina, vincent

birthday, birthday!

2005-07-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Rex!Ü

what a tram ride can do

2005-07-03T18:17:00.000+08:00

It was Agatha's birthday yesterday. She turned nineteen. Six days after, when you count today as one, it'll be Hazel's. Henceforth, upon reaching the tenth of november, it'll be mine. A lot of nice things happened today. For one, Hazel had her first MRT ride. I was amazed that she immediately knew what side to insert into that machine. She said that she was told about that before and I wondered why my family didn't do the same. Anyway, that's beside the point.

We met with Rex and had snack/cake-fest/coffee-tea-party at CBTL in Gateway. Courtesy of Rex's tip, I had the I-so-love-cheese-and-so-I-will-have-layers-of-it cake. It was a triple and yes, it was everything keso. After much kwentos and catching up (mind you, we see each other once a year, in July, where three of us have our bertdays), Rex had to leave due to an already set appointment with a friend. So there, after goodbyes and smiles, we promise ourselves that we'll watch Fantastic Four together and go bowling (thereby increasing the meetings to thrice a year).

Just for details' sake, we watched Monster-in-Law in Greenbelt after strolling and then realizing that we're about to be late again for a movie and so we semi-ran.

In the midst of unknown people, forearms shoved here and there, apparently to set themselves against the powers of inertia, I told Airah and Jeona, "Didn't you realize that we've been together since we were ten?" And then they tell Agatha, "Didn't you realize we've known each other since we were seven?"

Yes, it's true. I've been with them since the year I experienced the first signs of adolescence. It's kinda creepy when you think about it. But it spurs a sense of nostalgia, whether we admit it or not. About nine years ago, I came to SPED wearing a curduroy skirt and a white long-sleeved top with braided hair to boot. Before you praise me about my memory I'm telling you that it's not I who remembered those (I couldn't care less about my clothes when I'm in a fucking new school with no friends and no knowledge of the "Panatang Makabayan"). It was them who perpetually joked about what how wierd I looked amidst a group of students clad in jeans, colored tops, and snickers. Heck, they even remember that my blue curduroy skirt had teddy bear prints on it.

You see, we've really gone through a lot (i.e. making each other feel stupid, calling each other bobo, or just plain cursing and bitching around). Although not exclusively around each other cos we had our own small groups to go everyday with, I think it's pretty amazing that we still consider each other really good friends, all four of us, all these years. Besides, not all people are lucky enough to have long-standing friendships.

Some people think I take things way seriously. I won't disagree cos I find myself wanting to kick me for doing so. So it follows that I take my relationships seriously, especially the one I have with friends. Calling someone a friend is not too easy for me. Not the tipong, "Ah, no, she's my friend-friend lang. The other one, she's my friend talaga." Friend talaga--I don't get the point. It's not like you can have the word friend raised to the nth power depending on the depth of the friendship you share with the person. It's like pitching a Volvo as Buy-1-Take-1. I bet you any marketer will kick the ass out of your dimwitted head for even thinking about it.

Anyway, why did I post about this? It's because someone's celebrating her birthday, one is thinking about going to Korea for a year, and were all cramped up in one of the MRT carts, and the day was so made to be nostalgic with matching drizzles and falling leaves.

On the other hand it just might be because I'm fucking sentimental *mentally kicking oneself*.

birthday, birthday!

2005-07-02T14:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Agatha!Ü

a kiss goodbye

2005-07-01T11:07:00.000+08:00

Spring, 1995.

They sat on the bed together, side by side, knees touching, heads down.

“How long will you be gone?”
“A month, five weeks tops”
“You coming back?”
“Yeah” she sighed.
“You are not.”

He shook his head, not convinced.
He took her hand in his, clasping it to his chest.

“We need some space. I need to clear my head”
“What will happen when you come back?”
“I don’t know.” She was non-committal.

He looked at her. She looked at the floor, avoiding his eyes. They sat in silence.

“You need to get some sleep” she finally said.
She got up. He was still clutching her hand. He followed. He took her in his arm, circling her waist, searching for her eyes. She smiled. He cocked his head to the left. He smiled. Eyes locked. He pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest, his hands on her back, his face buried in her hair. They stayed in the embrace for what seems like eternity, but not long enough. She didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want to let go.

“I need to get packing. My ride is coming early morning.”

He didn’t respond. He kissed her hair, the corner of her eye, the tip of her nose, the side of her mouth. She tilted her head a little and his lips found hers. And the whole universe evaporated in that one kiss. Her emotions flooded into that one kiss. Their feelings summarised in that one kiss. She felt light and heady at the same time. Her knees felt weak, her body quivering. And then they came up for air.

“That felt like goodbye.”

She didn’t answer. She walked him to the door, not trusting herself to speak.

They embraced. He kissed her on the forehead.

“I’ll be here when you come back.”

broke and impatient

2005-06-30T14:23:00.000+08:00

I am officially B-R-O-K-E. Seriously, I watched two movies in two days. Although I must say that Hotel Rwanda is definitely worth the deal.

---

Either I'm so dead slloooow or haay.. maybe I really am. I didn't get War of the Worlds. Not too bad as I-don't-get-it period, though. It's just that it's not like the other movies that you know for sure that you-got-IT the moment you walk out the cinema. Haay.. I don't know.

On another note, the cinematography was a different story. It's like the feeling-mo-you're-there type. What else can you expect from Steven Spielberg, anyway.

One more reason to watch the movie: Dakota Fanning.
I think the word, "Hollywood" was practically scrawled on her face the day she was born.

---

I'm naiinis na naaasar with one of my teachers. She hasn't mailed any comments until now. Been waiting for it since thursday pa. Either she's really annoying or I'm just too scared na our group will be masabon tomorrow. I mean, I hate being caught unaware. Who doesn't? Especially when it's something negative. Argh! Why kasi am I not techie enough?

---

I really, really need to find my happy place...

Woosah!

graduating this year?

2005-06-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

The UP Career Assistance Program CBA-SE is inviting all graduating students and CAP participants to visit the CAP Registration Booth from June 27 to July 1, at the CBA 3rd floor front lobby and SE lobby. The registration fee is only P200.

Thank You.

The CAP Executive Board

my hero

2005-06-20T12:05:00.000+08:00

all my cousins fear him. all my tita's and tito'ses do too. our grade school 'Manong' in SPED thought that he was far older than my mother.

that's.my.Dad.

and more:)

he's most of the time strict. he's the perpetual sundo of the perpetual Cinderella. yes, Cinderella has been my other nickname for sometime now. usually, people expect me to do the usual, "You're so unfair, Dad!" but come to think of it, i think i never used those words. it's not that i prefer being at home for like forever, i just keep in mind that he knows what's best for me and that i should follow.

my Dad just turned 50 last June 13. in my family's heart i know we celebrated 50 golden years of life, love, achievement, and more and more love.

i told him that he's the bestest father in the world. and i made unahan him by saying that i said that not because i didn't have a choice but because it was the how i felt.

my Dad's the bestest. i'm not that scared of him, really. in fact, i think i scare him more than he scares everyone.;) and i'm not an vampire nor do i have friggin' claws.

and trivia: he's not scary. especially when he's in the good drunk phase. he'll buy you anything, i swear.;)

Love you, Dad. *hugs*

double-coned strawberry ice cream

2005-06-09T07:56:00.000+08:00

School started yesterday with three-out-of-four professors present. Plus, I think I was placed in an interesting block.

I came across Tin's blog awhile ago. Obviously, she writes well. Ever since naman eh. Napaisip nga lang ako.

LOVE.

There was this time, way way back when I didn't know anything about it (not like I know how the whole thingamagig goes right now). What I mean is, there was this time when I thought babies dropped from the heavens into the loving arms of two people who are married and call themselves the proverbial husband and wife. Parang ganon ka-ignorante. But as of this generation, I guess I'd be called or thought of as a fool to think that (as Agatha put it, we were old enough to become mothers). Not that I marginalize couples who do not fit into this traditional framework. Trust me when I say that I can appreciate any form of self expression. I just realized that the so-called traditional has now become the exception.

At eighteen, I can boldly say that I do not know anything about love. Personal experiences and those of other people (and with people I'm not just referring to a handful) cannot even come close. Even the gazillion number of definitions of it in the also gazillion self-help books do not even shed a light on the subject. Before, I used to think that there were many definitions because IT was relative and subjective. Now I say that it is the way it is because nobody really knows. I beg to call all these as mere attempts at defining the undefinable.

"The boygirl stuck together were so busy lost in each other's eyes that they failed to see that they were directly in the path of a drunkenly driven, speeding eight-wheeler truck."

I'm betting my neck that any boygirl would roll their eyes at this or better yet dismiss this as a person-not-liked's expression of utmost bitterness. I myself, not a boygirl even, almost did. Classify it as bitterness, I mean. But I thought better. Some boygirl out there, with their rational sides turned-off is inevitably on the course of that speeding eight-wheeler. Sad as it may seem, I think I have come across a number. Come to think of it, Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" seems to be just an older version.

At eighteen, I'm not sure if I have been in love. The boygirl kinda love, I mean (these days, you can never be sure;)).

Quoting Emily, "You don't deserve to be in love when you're not willing to sound stupid."

I guess from this post I may have sounded stupid, but I posted it anyway.

Does that mean i deserve to be in love?

P.S.

Why can't things be just as simple as this?

heat, sweat, here i come

2005-06-05T07:13:00.000+08:00

school starts in three friggin' days and i am feeling totally.. uh.. in denial. actually, reg started nung thursday pa, but since the CRS was uinbelievably kind to me this semester, it'll only take one day for me to finish the whole process. so i go back to manila on sunday, which is, tomorrow. fartknots. gusto ko pa magbakasyon! seriously, i've been home for what, two weeks?! and add to that the fact that my brain is soo not ready for serious schoolwork yet. and it's so easy to get stupid grades if you end up with an average first long exam. i am soo in trouble.

one more thing that i am trying to "deny" is the fact that i'm formally a third year college student starting tuesday. talk about getting old one more year and not even noticing it pass by. the first two years of college, as for me and other people taking up four-year classes the "first half", whizzed amazingly fast. which is scary, i think, cos the "next half" might go the same way too. haay, if i can only stop time.

anyway, that is just about it.

P.S. i am officially a children's party kusinera. handled my sister's party pretty well, with added human labor ofcourse, but still, well.;)

to the only starfish with a brain

2005-05-27T12:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Elanie's post-birthday-slash-surprise-going-away party. We planned the thing for about two weeks and finally, it was realized.:) My friend, aka the starfish, is to leave for Canada. Yes, migration yet again. It's just so sad that people start to leave in waves for another country these days. It's all for a greener pasture, for a better life, yada yada yada. I mean, I can't blame them, right?

Anyway, the 'party' was fun. It was supposedly a sleepover but then again, my Dad missed me so much he picked up around 1am. I am trying hard to think of it as positive as possible. My telling Mom to please talk to Dad so I'd be allowed was my latest, farthest attempt at assertion. Yeah, I know I'm soo masunurin. Kay even tried to push me into trying harder by reminding me that she wasn't napayagan also but she made some crafty excuse just so she could get her way (really appreciate it Kay, but I just know when my Dad won't budge, and last night was his, obviously).

So going back to the fun, fun party, we got Rams to document it and all, with him saying that we'll get to watch that after five years. after expected grunts and "what??s", we settled for four. We even prepared a skit, to support the "surprise" term we used, although it was totally unsuccessful because Rodomark slipped. It was really nice cos it was the first time we got together, all of us, in two years. I say, "ang bilis ng panahon..." with a all the air I can take in. Ooh, the food. Food was great except that I had to shoo away the crushed chicharon topping of the palabok due to my anti-terrestial-animal-ingestion venture. Sometimes you just wish vegetarian-friendly-palabok to-go existed.

The happiest, most wonderful thing that happened was... Elanie had her first shot of Tequila! It might sound lame to a lot of people, but knowing Elanie, I am still in disbelief. Well, as I put it, if she didn't get to have a boyfriend here in the Philippines, atleast let her have a shot. As for Annie, well, she said she's gonna have it during her own going-away. Tell me about it!

To our starfish: I'm gonna miss you! *tears forming in eye corners*

from L to R: Elanie, Zelina, Azh, Rams, Annie, Kay

----------------

Congratulations to Carrie for winning the American Idol Season 4 title. Although after watching their last performance I was still, still hoping that Bo would. Both of them were great, but as they say, there's only one winner and Carrie deserved it more. Anyway, Bo remains to be oh so hot and with a shiny red car to boot. Sounds good enough for me.

the bat life

2005-05-08T19:19:00.000+08:00

the clock says 4:12am and i am still awake. for reasons that i'm not sure are relevant. i need to sleep. everybody does. but my eyelids aren't even heavy yet. sigh. what am i to do?

this is friggin' insomnia screaming. sweetestdreams, everyone.;)

of love and poetry

2005-05-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

I who loved Beauty was not beautiful;
I cherished Truth, and yet I was not true;
I who remembered am so soon forgotten,
But I loved you.

I who loved Mirth was well-acquaint with sorrow;
I honored Freedom, yet I was not free;
But once, indeed, I knew the just equation,
For you loved me.

Note: This poem was found unsigned on a Greek epitaph. It was translated by Christopher Morley. This was the first poem we discussed in my Eng11 class last semester and I soo liked it. Hope you do as well. Enjoy!Ü

minus the hand-on-head gesture

2005-04-24T12:33:00.000+08:00

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."

-Freidrich Nietzche

Here, here.

In an attempt (that is doomed from the very start, if I may add) to connect the quotation to this entry's being the primer of this blog, I have this to say:

Whatever you read here, is open to 'here, here's or boo's, whatever suits you. But then again, please be kind. Haha, I look like a child hesitant to test the waters.

I have no introductory posts and such cos um, I'm not really into the whole blogging/online journal idea since I do not have that much faith in my writing capabilities. In fact, nine times out of ten, I don't think I "write" at all. In the real sense of the word, that is. I'm thinking of making this blog my new shock absorber or soundboard. I, sadly have only two human versions of these and while the other is left in Baguio, the other is immersed in accounting. And a big good luck to me.:)

Come to think of it, no harm done since no one would know about this blog.. atleast for the mean time.

Til next time. Ayyamoutt!Ü

quasi diarist

Happy to make YOU happy*

Why did I choose to stay in the Philippines?

.:. Are you happy?

:: Visual DNA

.:. Hitting a nerve

:: Life Plan

.:. To laugh or Not to laugh?

:: It feels so good to know..

.:. Current state

:: Of Riddles

.:. The Flower

:: When the red light says stop

.:. Try this!

:: Let the good vibes roll

.:. To let it out

:: I'm back!

.:. Isolation

:: I miss..

.:. Task-happy

:: Feasib

.:. To a man who is more a woman than I am=)

:: Updates 101

.:. And >POP!<

long overdue

Tra la la

take a guess

all smiles

hula baloo # 12

walang hanggang pag-iisip

Ala Pinoy Big Brother

MAJOR blab

intelligente y idiota..

slowing down on the snapshots

fate

mental note

another one of those what-nots

kahit ang kape pwedeng i-konek sa personality *yehesss!*

update

an end to all this

birthday, birthday!

(belated) birthday, birthday!

bandwagon

Different

(ab)normal

Opinion

measly updates ... part2

Warning

of measly updates, birthday cakes, and more.:)

(not) true

the usual prick

random.stuff

still.. nothing beats a live greeting

inside-out

3-in-1 post

This is soo freaky.

Yada, yada, yada

Gah..

THE amiable ex

when a title won't really matter

labels

my mother's daughter

(un)bearable unpredictability

here, here!

yawning

new record set

wedding bells

birthday, birthday!

birthday, birthday!

what a tram ride can do

birthday, birthday!

a kiss goodbye

broke and impatient

graduating this year?

my hero

double-coned strawberry ice cream

heat, sweat, here i come

to the only starfish with a brain

the bat life

of love and poetry

kahit ang kape pwedeng i-konek sa personality yehesss!